Why you Attract Narcissistic Partners

If you are have a pattern of attracting narcissistic partners, there is a good, great, chance you were raised by a narcissistic parent.

They groomed you to be the perfect partner for the narcissist. Here’s how:

The narcissistic parent taught you that their needs were important, yours weren’t. If you exerted personal power by expressing your feelings, opinions or beliefs, or asked for what you wanted, the Narcissist parent, depending on their style met your request with disdain, aloofness, or vengeful outrage.

Their way of thinking was, “How dare you have needs”. “Your needs should match my needs” In other words, your needs, wants and desires don’t count. It was their way or the highway, and as a vulnerable child you learned to adapt to their way to stay safe.

So when you meet a potential partner, you will defer to his/her needs, because that is your normal. When deciding what to do for a date you might say, “What do you want to do?” without a second thought. Narcissists lap this up and see that you are a great target to meet their every whim, desire and need. They see that you will bow down to their wants, desires and way of doing things.

You were not taught to speak up. You were taught that your voice was an annoyance and irrelevant in the narcissistic parent whose unconscious…