The Healing Journey is Sneaky AF

Until I had a dream where my Doctor assigned me to stand up in a crowd and deliver a speech, I thought, somehow, I had some control over my journey toward healing.

In the tender and vulnerable places where avoidance is the easiest path, those painful wounds will find a way into your psyche, even when you are in a deep sleep and unable to deflect or protest, I discovered.

The day before the dream I had a video telehealth appointment with my Doctor about a GI issue that comes and goes and has not resolved even after a shit-ton of supplements and scores of medical testing.

In my dream, which started out innocently and cartoonish, my deceased father, from whom I had been estranged for most of my life after he left my mom, sister, and me when I was about four years old, appeared. In the first frame of the dream, he was driving a bicycle-type contraption with an open and empty bus connected to the back of the bike. He was driving a bus without passengers. If the bus was a metaphor for his life — empty.

In the next scene of the dream, my Doctor called me in front of a group. Evidently, I was the last one to give a ‘talk’ and was told to stand. I somehow knew the assignment.

I cleared my throat and started.