Self Esteem Takes a Dive after Narcissistic Exposure

While you were in relationship with the Narcissist, you were consumed by trying to protect, survive and salvage the partnership that started out characteristically thrilling. Your energy reserves burned up from the ensuing abuse, confusion and dizzying whiplash of highs and lows. To compensate from a guy steeped in this drama, I tapped down my reactions. I felt like a smiling bobble head, with one eye on the lookout for the other shoe to drop.

I savored any morsel of affirmation he threw my way while starving from the broken promise of a normal relationship. I became dangerously numb to it, for a while.

Along this journey of decline, my efforts to appease, while trying to maintain a semblance of dignity, took a big bite out of my dignity and self-worth.

Once removed from the relationship, you can assess the damage. The rearview mirror reflects a distorted bloat of neurotic obsession: you/me obsessed over how to please them while they obsessed over the flipside — how pleasing them was never enough. This one-legged race was painful to endure and just as difficult to recall.

Downtrodden and defeated, the aftermath bodes questions about our own sanity. The aftermath doesn’t come with a neat report full of insights. Instead, random flashbacks smack you when you are most vulnerable…