Groomed to please the Narcissist

As an adult child of a Narcissistic parent I have had many moons to rubberneck through the rearview mirror at the train wreck that was my life. I have ruminated over how my mother was entitled to express the full range of her feelings while her children were only allowed one sided and muted expressions: quiet and cheerful; tight lipped and wide eyed. Those were the masks we wore and marched with into adulthood.

All eyes are on the narcissist as they live large while expecting those around them to compensate by shrinking in emotional range, and expressions.

This dynamic programs children growing into adulthood to be groomed for another narcissist. I left home, and left the Narc behind, but I was primed and ready for someone to please and become their second banana. All I needed to complete the dynamic was a narcissist, who promptly found me, soon realizing I was the perfect match for him to get away with being all he could be, and more.

How do we break the pattern? If I told you it was easy and I had a 3 step program, I would be leading you on. The process is long and winding. It is part of life. Healing from emotional wounds and detangling the roles we were groomed for takes grit, fortitude, bravery and along the way you become your own hero on the path that becomes your journey. Stepping into a life you craft after the wreck that was…